Laughs flow freely in early Allen comedy

PLAY REVIEW /// ‘Don’t Drink the Water’



MAGIC—Raymond Mastrovito plays Father Drobney. Courtesy of Conejo Players Theatre

MAGIC—Raymond Mastrovito plays Father Drobney. Courtesy of Conejo Players Theatre

If the play “Don’t Drink the Water” could be described with a news headline, it might read, “American tourists run amok in foreign embassy.” That pretty much sums up Woody Allen’s manic Cold War comedy, which was produced on Broadway in 1966.

It was the early days of Allen’s career, as the future film director par excellence was transitioning from stand-up comedy to screenwriting, resulting in such anarchic, slapstick films as “Take the Money and Run,” “Bananas” and “Sleeper.” “Don’t Drink the Water” falls neatly into this category, taking a simple premise and exploding it into a messy farce that gets going quickly and whose energy never lets up. Conejo Players Theatre in Thousand Oaks should be applauded for taking on this rarely seen satire, which opened Jan. 13 and runs through Feb. 4.

Fortunately, CPT director John Eslick settled on the brilliant Kelly Green to play the part of harried American tourist Walter Hollander, who finds himself in a quagmire of trouble after he innocently takes photographs of an Iron Curtain missile site and takes refuge in an American embassy, with a menacing communist police chief foaming at the mouth to apprehend him. Hollander is from New Jersey, which is all Green needed to go into full Jackie Gleason mode in his side-splitting performance. (Gleason played Hollander when “Water” was turned into a film in 1969.)

After the performance, Green revealed that although he had Gleason in mind when he began to rehearse the part (which was originated on Broadway by Lou Jacobi), he decided to make the character more lovable than angry in accordance with Allen’s gentler style. The result is a comic tour de force as Green bumbles, blusters and bloviates while trying to come up with a way to escape the embassy while avoiding the encroaching police.

Portraying Green’s harried wife, Marion, is Karen Brundage, who cultivates a perfect “Joi-zee” accent in playing her part. Eslick made a good decision in not having Green and Brundage match each other decibel for decibel (unlike the battling Costanza parents on “Seinfeld”). Instead, Brundage delivers a wryly subdued performance that is equally hilarious. The pair are perfect together.

Along for the ride is the Hollanders’ attractive daughter, Susan, played with charm by Briana Bauer, who inexplicably falls for the embassy’s ineffectual assistant ambassador Axel Magee (Alex Greene with an “e”). Filling in at the embassy for his absent father (Jeff Ham), Axel is ostensibly the play’s main character. He is so inept at his job that—in one of Allen’s best lines—he was once hung in effigy by his own embassy.

Greene delivers a fine performance, but his character can’t help but be overshadowed by Green’s outsized portrayal of Walter. Green made sure to take advantage of the difference in height between him and the lanky Greene, with some especially funny ad-libs.

Robert Chambers has some great moments as the super-efficient but accident-prone embassy assistant Kilroy, who is passed over for the ambassador job and is beset by a succession of injuries, none of which is necessary to propel the plot. Bryan White plays the snarling, eye-patched police inspector Krojack, whose menacing demeanor frightens everyone but the audience.

Character actor chameleon Raymond Mastrovito delivers one of his best performances ever as the lovable Father Drobney, a priest who has been hiding in the embassy for six years, trying out his magic act on anyone who will listen. Mastrovito, an amateur magician himself who delights in affecting foreign accents, steals every scene he is in, and even brought in some of his own magic props from home to use in the show.

Allen’s writing was still in its formative stages in 1966; his relentless, rat-a-tat firing of uproarious one-liners was still to come, but there are enough laughs to make “Don’t Drink the Water” a can’t-miss production. Belly up to the bar.

The comedy plays through Feb. 4 at Conejo Players Theatre, 351 S. Moorpark Road, Thousand Oaks. For tickets and information, visit ConejoPlayers.org or call (805) 495-3715.