2017-05-19 / Columns

Believe it or not, chivalry isn’t dead

Single Files
Ela Lindsay

For anyone who might be somewhat tired of this newfangled dating world that seems to consist of getting to “know” people in an impersonal, no-eye-contact cyberworld, then meeting them for quickie coffee dates for mutual size-ups, this column is for you.

For those, like me, who might miss the good old days when a man might show up for a date with flowers or woo a gal with dinner and a movie on a first date, I have a story to tell.

Just when I thought chivalry had shriveled up, died and disappeared in the wind with the likes of manners and first dates that go beyond a fast-pay-Dutch-meetand greet, I come across a gentleman for whom these practices are second nature.

For Mr. Chivalrous, the first date was an invitation to a concert. And not just any old run-ofthe mill event. This was an Arlo Gurthrie live show at the Civic Arts Plaza in Thousand Oaks.

And not only did I notice that Mr. C. opened doors, I was floored when he agreed to pick me up near my home, about a half-hour drive from his place. Nice going!

Now, maybe my chivalry picker had been off-kilter lately, because I seemed to be getting more and more used to less and less attention during first and second, even third dates. So attending a concert with a door-opening sweet guy was definitely a plus and a second date was welcomed.

And please, folks, before you get me wrong, understand this: It was not only the fact that Mr. C. was really respectful and chose such a fun venue for a first date that I wanted to see him again. For your information, he was also charming, smart and cute and we had interests in common. Also, the date ended with a kiss on the hand. Who could resist such a nice touch?

In any case, the second date was a dinner invitation. And, again, not to a chain restaurant or a drive-through. This was a trip to Malibu and dinner overlooking Zuma Beach. Yowza!

As we got to know one another better, a third date was planned. It was a lovely excursion to Ventura to go thrift-store shopping for hidden treasures, a pastime we both enjoy. And don’t think I didn’t notice his effort to stay on the road side of the street as we walked hand in hand in the downtown area.

Date No. 4—and believe me, that’s close to a record for me these days—was mostly a bunch of surprises. And I love surprises, so the idea that someone even heard that fact, noted it and made it happen was a another huge plus in my book.

This adventure started with a train trip to Santa Barbara. I love trains but hadn’t been on one since I moved here years ago, so even just riding one was a huge treat. And as the coastal scenery whizzed by, I could only imagine what else was in store for us.

There was lunch at a cool Mexican restaurant off State Street; drinks at El Encanto, a posh hotel up the mountain; dessert at another fun spot on State Street; new-for-me Uber rides up the wazoo in between; and a hand-in-hand walk along the ocean just before sunset, viewing all types of art on display.

The pièce de rèsistance? Dinner for two on the train ride back home—classy all the way, folks! I felt like a princess all day.

So, thanks, Mr. C., for proving to me that chivalry still exists. Plus, of course, just writing it down allows me to enjoy the adventures over and over again.

I’d like to hear about other acts of chivalry on dates as well as experiences of the anti-manner kind. Your stories and messages are always a pleasure.

Ela Lindsay is a single writer in Ventura County. To catch up on her bimonthly columns, visit theacornonline.com. For comments or suggestions, email eLindsay@ theAcorn.com.

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