Press Box Prattle
Elementary school kid better than NFL experts when it comes to picking winners

The weekend began with a beautiful rendition of our national anthem and ended with the San Diego Chargers earning this guy (thumbs to my chest) a trip to the bank.

What can I say? Sometimes it pays to be a Dorkman.

Venue: Thousand Oaks High gymnasium last Friday night. Matchup: Simi Valley vs. Thousand Oaks boys' basketball teams. Bottom line: Most anticipated game of Marmonte League schedule.

First and foremost, Newbury Park resident Carmen Carter was awesome singing the national anthem. Carter, whose son, Chris, is a junior forward for the Lancers, sings professionally for the TV show "Dancing with the Stars."

Performing in a green dress complemented by a golden crown, Carter's goose-bump-inducing voice pushed the already electric crowd to another level.

Simi Valley won the game, 7267, to remain undefeated in league competition. Thousand Oaks suffered its first Marmonte League defeat and dropped to 12-6 overall.

The highflying Pioneers continue to impress, and senior point guard Lorne Jackson remains the team's catalyst. Against Thousand Oaks, Jackson took the ball to the basket at will, scoring a gamehigh 24 points.

"Whenever I got the ball I just tried to beat the defense down the court, every single time," Jackson said.

Following his team's hardfought victory in front of T.O.'s rabid Green Hole, Jackson said the win was further proof that the Pioneers can excel in the most hostile environments.

"We can play anywhere, that's what this shows," he said. "We can win on the road if we play well. . . . Besides, these are the best kinds of fans to silence."

Jackson, the Marmonte League's leading scorer with 23.8 points per game, has scored at least 20 points in 14 of Simi Valley's first 19 contests.

The Pioneers won 18 of those games, with their lone loss coming by way of an 8483 buzzerbeater to powerhouse ComptonDominguez in late December.

Michael Meza, Simi Valley's versatile forward, entered the week tied with Moorpark senior guard

David Buchanan for second in the league in scoring (20 points per game). SVHS junior guard Brad Lewis ranked fourth (18.5).

Not only can Simi Valley put the ball in the basket, but head coach Christian Aurand's squad runs opposing teams ragged with its defensive pressure. The final six minutes weren't fun for Thousand Oaks. It's a point in the game where SVHS has been at its best this season.

Still, TOHS deserves major credit. The Lancers fell behind 13-4 early on and didn't establish their initial lead until a secondeffort basket by senior forward

Cyrus Kiani midway through the second quarter.

TOHS was within striking distance all night until Meza iced the game with a pair of free throws with only seconds remaining in the contest.

Kiani said T.O. never feared the Pioneers, adding they'll learn from the loss and rebound with a better performance when SVHS hosts Thousand Oaks on Feb. 6.

"When we play the way we're capable of playing, we can compete with this team," Kiani said. "They're ranked really high, and everyone has been praising them, and we respected this team and knew they were going to be good. . . .But I think we can take them down next time. I'm really confident about it."

Count me in for the rematch.

Boy genius picks the Bolts

So, the TOHS gym was packed for the game. I saw a few snot-nosed punks running around with Tom Brady and Peyton Manning jerseys on, but I remember thinking I had no time to waste talking professional football with those frontrunners.

Being that I am, regrettably, over the legal age to gamble, I was prepared to lay down a few hardearned vacation-accrued dollars on the NFL weekend. Still, desperate for approval on my selections, I sought assistance.

Devine intervention- and a gorgeous powder-blue Chargers jersey- led me to a clever young scholar from La Mariposa Elementary School in Camarillo.

Kyle Johnson, a member of the Camarillo Dons youth basketball program, was at the game with his schoolmate/teammate,

Daulton Geringer, to, get this, scout the high school teams with the hopes of improving their skills.

These kids were obviously born to be coaches.

I immediately put Johnson, who was wearing LaDainian Tomlinson's No. 21 replica jersey, on the spot. I told him I was a very important writer representing a very important local newspaper who needed the answers to a few very important questions.

I was sweating. He wasn't.

Johnson's parents must be totally disappointed- with me, not him.

"What must the Chargers do to win this game, young man?" I asked, hoping he'd assure me of my existing belief in San Diego before someone with authority caught wind of my act.

"Antonio Gates needs to get better and play," Johnson replied, seemingly unfazed by our photographer's camera flashing in his eyes. (Note: If I'm going down for inadvertently coercing gambling advice from a kid, so is our award-winning photographer,

Jann Hendry, because she was there, too).

"L.T. has to rush the ball, and

Philip Rivers needs completions- and a lot of touchdowns," Johnson said.

It was an excellent pregame analysis. The kid had done his homework, and I was prepared to use this knowledge for financial gain. It's a sick world we live in, I know.

Just to double-check, I asked Johnson for a final score. His reply: Chargers 26, Colts 17.

On Sunday the Chargers, who at kickoff were more than 4-to-1 underdogs to win the game in Indianapolis, beat the Colts 28-24. The talking heads were stunned, but Johnson and I had it figured out all along.

It just goes to show that most of the experts are a bunch of prattling know-it-alls. Trust me, you can get better information from a sports-savvy kid in elementary school than CBS analyst Shannon Sharpe any day of the week.

Now, I wonder who Johnson likes for the Super Bowl??? Write me, bro.

Contact Stephen Dorman at sdorman@theacorn.com.