New Year's resolutions for better mental health
By Renee Haas

If you belong to a gym, you've undoubtedly noticed that it's overflowing with new members- people full of New Year's resolution energy. But within the next few months, many of those gym members will have disappeared. People who made different New Year's resolutions also will have let their plans fall by the wayside.

What can you do to keep your own New Year's resolutions and, in general, increase your ability to follow through on selfimprovement goals?

I think a couple of key components in creating lasting change are to know yourself well and to build pleasure into the process. For example, a person wishing to lose weight and improve their health might join a gym even though they're not a "gym person" at heart. After a few weeks of doing cardiovascular exercise on a treadmill or elliptical machine, those people might be bored to pieces and throw in the towel on the concept of exercising altogether.

If they had done some selfexploration before joining the gym, they might have remembered how much they loved playing AYSO soccer as a kid. Or they might have noted how much they look forward to watching one of the dancing shows currently so popular on television. If that's the case, they might be better off joining an adult soccer league or signing up for salsa lessons through their local parks and recreation department. They'd be getting their exercise in a way that meets their personal criteria for fun.

Other elements of successful change are making realistic goals with shortterm steps, and forgiving yourself when you stumble. Some goals seem so overwhelming that people essentially give up on ever achieving them. But small, incremental improvements can be very powerful over time.

If your marriage is foundering, rather than creating a large, unspecific objective such as "We need to communicate better," start with small, achievable positive statements. These might include things such as, "During the coming week, I will make a sincere effort to stop interrupting my wife when she's speaking to me" or "By next weekend, I will plan a date night with my husband where we can talk in a quiet restaurant away from the kids."

Achieving these goals and seeing the positive results can then feed your belief that larger, more global changes are possible if you keep working toward them.

Compassion toward yourself can also go a long way. If you're on a diet and find yourself facedown in Belgian chocolate one day, that doesn't have to mean your diet is a permanent failure. Be kind to yourself, look at what triggered your slip, take a break if needed and then get back on track when you're ready.

Renée Haas is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a founding partner of Wellspring Counseling Group in Moorpark. Reached Haas at (805) 306-1595.