Here's a good starting point for this year's Valentine's Day: Men, get a clue. Women, lighten up.

After eons of trying you'd think that husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend would get it right. But the intergender struggle- that "battle of the sexes"- still continues.

According to one definition, love is temporary insanity, curable by marriage. Where there is love there is pain. Not to be cynical, but the fact is there are some things in the world of relationships that just need to be fixed. Because yesterday was Feb. 14, it's the perfect time.

Advice to men: Don't argue with her. Ever. If you lose, you lose. If you win, you lose. Open up, guys, and try listening without arguing for a change. Don't countermand, don't force solutions, just listen. It's the interaction that matters to her most. Try being a partner, not a contestant.

The first duty of love is to listen.

Women need to lighten up as well. Men are simple creatures who value a committed relationship just as much as you do. They need to be recognized and heard, too, but if your man chooses silence on occasion, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you. He's probably just watching the ballgame. By the way, ladies, save the drama for the silver screen. Histrionics are a turnoff, and louder won't get you where you want to be.

Valentine's Day is tricky. While a time for romance, it is not a time to play "should've, would've, could've." Make your romance a year-round commitment, not just a day in February.

In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. They would wear these names on their sleeves for a week. To wear your "heart on your sleeve" means it is easy for people to see how you feel.

Don't be afraid to express your love. All people whom you care about deserve to be told that you care, not just your significant other. Family members, friends, coworkers- if they give meaning to your life or make your world a better place, remember them on this special day, too.