Have you ever noticed that just when you think you've got things figured out, something happens that puts you back to square one?

Recently, I was forced to question whether or not the last few decades of growing and learning have been a terrible waste of time. On the surface, it may not seem like much, but it has hit me pretty hard.

I was, again, at one of the markets in Moorpark with my wife when this thing happened. It really isn't important which market, but I will mention that it did not carry Eskimo Pies. Unfortunately for Moorpark, this will not help you identify which market it was. We spent an hour shopping at leisure, and we were preparing to check out when the checker looked at me and asked, "Paper or plastic?"

Now, since I was in a market, with my wife, I thought it was rather foolish to ask me such a question. Did she assume that just because I was the male of the species, I would automatically have the answers to such a mystery?

She asked the other wives if they wanted paper or plastic, but it may have been they were alone and there was no higher authority available. It was then that I noticed that my wife had wandered off for a minute and entrusted me with getting the cart unloaded.

Anyway, the question did fall upon me to answer. But how could I be expected to come up with an answer right then and there? This was a matter that needed deliberation, thought, analysis and discussion among those wiser than me. I noticed the line growing longer behind me and tried to cope with the mounting pressure.

If I selected plastic, the landfills would be polluted for centuries. I would contribute to the piles of nonbiodegradable petrochemicals that threaten the future of our Earth and our very survival.

On the other hand, if I selected paper, then I would be contributing to the deforestation of the planet. One fewer tree would mean that there would be less oxygen and more carbon dioxide, and I alone would hasten the coming of global warming.

There was one other consideration. Since it was inevitable that I would drop the largest glass container, I had to decide if I wanted to soak it up with paper, or just cover it with plastic and walk away.

I asked if I could have more time, but the checker's glance toward those in line behind me told me that time was running out.

I asked if there were any more choices, but the choices were limited to paper or plastic, and they were getting pretty insistent that I give them an answer. I was about to point out that a great many of the problems we face today are caused because someone gave a quick answer to a complicated question, but I decided that I'd better concentrate on the matter before us- paper or plastic.

As my knees began to shake and sweat appeared on my brow, my wife happened to return and the checker asked her, "Paper or plastic?" My wife pointed to the items that were to be put in plastic bags, and then she pointed to those items that were to be put into paper bags.

I was about to question how she could make such an arbitrary decision so quickly, but something in her gaze made me think that I'd better not.

The folks at the market were very nice, and as the checker handed back our change, she said, "Thank you again, Mrs. McCoy."

As we started to leave, the checker also said something to my wife about being very sorry, but since my back was turned I didn't see what she had done wrong.