Despite the title of this week’s column, I really enjoy the holiday season. I like the chill in the air, the holiday music, and just the general good feeling at this time of the year.

One thing that I don’t like is malls. There’s nothing wrong with malls—I’m just not a mall kind of person. Malls are, for the most part, indoors. Christmas shopping should be done outdoors, where one can see, feel, hear and smell the season. That having been said, as far as malls go, the Simi Valley Town Center is a pretty nice mall.

I accompanied my wife and my daughter to the Town Center recently, and I actually looked forward to the visit. I did a little shopping, but mostly I just wandered around. I was having a great time walking, breathing the cold night air, listening to the holiday music and watching the little kids line up for Santa.

While I was walking, I had a rather significant thought. It is now my belief that those without wives and children do not get nearly as much exercise as those of us who have wives and children. We can spend the greater part of several hours marching from one end of the mall to the other end several times over as we await the return of our loved ones. In addition, the more fit among us may even walk all the way over to the adult toy stores located to the west of the mall. Don’t bother getting the map—I’m referring to the Best Buy and the Lowe’s. Perhaps, one day, someone will do a study and confirm this hypothesis.

But, now, here comes the “bah” part. As I wandered around, it seemed that I began to be set upon by the cart, or “kiosk,” vendors. I was chased several feet by a fellow who knew exactly what I needed. I thought this was quite a coincidence because I knew exactly what I wanted to give him, but there are laws against that. A little further on, a young lady jumped out in front of me and was prepared to let me sample one of her items, whether I wanted to or not; it was something that I really needed.

At this point in the narrative, it should be noted that my holiday spirit was beginning to suffer a setback. However, I determined that I was not to be denied the feeling of goodwill that I had on this particular night.

Anyway, after thinking of a few items that I could buy for the holidays and hide in the car before I met up with the family, I continued to press on. I should have stayed where I was. Again, someone came up from behind and startled me. They apologized and offered me just the thing that I needed.

By this time, I was very depressed since I knew that there were so many things that I needed and that I didn’t have. I gathered up the family and headed for home.

When I awoke the next day, a most wondrous thing had happened. I was again filled with the holiday spirit. Imagine—I still didn’t have all of those things that I needed, but there was still joy and a holiday spirit in my heart. It surely must have been a holiday miracle.

Since I have regained the feeling, I wish all of you a most joyous holiday season, and I hope the next year brings you all of the things that you truly need. It turns out that I had all that I really needed back on that cold day at the mall when I gathered up my family.