The Best of 2005

Roger Ebert most likely has an entourage. The L.A. Times has a research department. Premiere magazine has all those nifty photographers. Variety has the inside scoop.

I have a wife who nudges me in the ribs whenever she thinks I’m being obtuse. With that in mind, here’s what I’ve found to be the best in film in 2005, both on the silver screen (meaning available shortly on DVD/video) or already on DVD, meaning that you can buy it now.

Best Comedy: This one’s a toss-up. Both “The Wedding Crashers” and “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” have the yuks. Both are bawdy, adult-oriented, sexually astute and outlandishly clever. Neither film is pitch-perfect, but both manage to stretch the envelope. Finally, too-funny films for the après-dating crowd.

Best Bio-Pix: “Capote,” “Walk the Line” and “Good Night, and Good Luck” will likely be contenders on Oscar night. My personal favorite? “Good Night.”

Best Retread: “King Kong.” One of my least favorite “monster movie” movies takes a sharp, sudden turn toward cinematic perfection. Peter “Hobbit” Jackson cements his position in Hollywood as the “new Spielberg” (with utmost apologies to the original Spielberg, who still ain’t no slouch).

Best Replay: “Cinderella Man.” It’s back for a reason, folks. See it.

Best Sequel: A near toss-up. “Batman Begins” is the best Batman flick for a decade, but “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire” proves that the franchise is alive and well and growing up with the little tykes. Most sequels tank by the third installment (“Terminator,” “Alien,” “Matrix”), but J.K. Rowling may take Harry all the way to AARP.

Best Costume/Period Piece: I’m a sucker for both hoop skirts and chain-mail armor. “Pride and Prejudice” and “Kingdom of Heaven” will astound you. Or, if your taste is a little more bizarre, try Kar Wai Wong’s “2046.” It’s sci-fi, time-tripping, romantic and very esoteric. Best TV Adaptation: Oh, get serious. There’s nothing here. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

Best Reality: Those little guys in their chilly tuxedos cleaned up. “March of the Penguins” gave dads a new lease on life.

Best “Star Wars” Experience: As the final act of one of the most culturally decisive events since The Beatles, “Star Wars— Chapter III: Revenge of the Sith” was an essential feature. As a stand-alone film it was, critically speaking, so-so. But as crucial to the “Star Wars” fanatic is the documentary “Star Wars III—Within a Minute.” More than 70,000 manhours (script, score, cinematography, props, makeup, editing, etc.) went into making just one scene (#158), the obligatory duel between Obi-Wan and Anaken. This documentary shows the skills, problems and angst involved in getting that single scene in the can. It’s a must-have for the true connoisseur.

Best Sports Flick: Team sports are so 20th century. Depending on your choice of extreme thrills, “First Descent” (snowboarding), “Riding Giants” (surfing) and “The Lords of Dogtown” are all worthy contenders. All are so comfortably SoCal that you’ll feel right at home, even if your favorite extreme sport is lifting the remote. In a difficult race, my squeaker fave is “Dogtown.” Its worthy companion is the 2001 bio-flick “Dogtown and Z-Boys.”

Best Flick by a Teenager Conveniently Passing By: The sci-fi sleeper “Serenity.” It got him away from Nintendo so it must be pretty good.

Best Alternative to Mom and Dad: Hetero-schmetero, we’re off to see the wizard! “Breakfast on Pluto,” “Transamerica” and “Brokeback Mountain” all explore adult alternatives. You’ve probably heard the most about “Brokeback,” and with good reason. It’s daring, yet conventional; hopeful, yet somber—and it’s got Jake as a troubled innocent and Heath as a brooding buckaroo. It’s a two-hanky (or shirtsleeve, if we’re being macho) love story worthy of the attention.

Best Love Story (and yes, family counts too): Nothing’s hanky-free this year. “In Her Shoes” is an underrated happy/ sad tale of siblings (Cameron Diaz, Toni Collette) who are the ultimate yin and yang of sisterhood—although the unconventional winner is “The Constant Gardener.” Truer love rarely comes with a steeper price tag.

Best Animation: ’Puter, schmooter. Old-fashioned claymation wins by a (dog’s) nose. “Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit” gets my vote. “Robots” would be the CGI runner-up contender, for its pure adrenalin-rush of motion and mayhem. “Howl’s Moving Castle,” (by animation-maestro Hayao Miyazaki, who created the haunting, unforgettable “Swept Away”) gets the bronze.

2006 Most Anticipated: “The Da Vinci Code” stars Tom Hanks, Audrey Tautou and the Catholic Church—perhaps this century’s biggest scapegoat.

Guiltiest pleasure? Johnny Depp returns as Jack Sparrow. And M. Night Shyamalan’s “Lady in the Water” looks spooky enough to get my attention.