As Red Ribbon Week approaches and the schools try to teach our students about the foolhardiness of drug, alcohol and tobacco use, it’s also a good time for parents to reflect on the important role they play in the war against substance abuse.

Nothing teaches better than setting a good example at home. What kind of message are we sending our kids when we as parents don’t practice what we preach?

Hypocrisy surrounding substance abuse extends to the highest levels of government. The governor of California, for example, will extol the virtues of bodybuilding, nutrition and good health, then turn around and designate a portion of the state capitol’s outdoor plaza for the purpose of enjoying a “good” cigar.

At home, many parents allow a teenage son to have an occasional beer, or maybe even a small “kegger” party with friends who’ve come over to watch a football game. And how many times have parents looked the other way when a daughter comes home late, mumbles a faint “good night” and wobbles her way to her room?

Studies have shown that asking your kids where they’re going, who they’re going to be with and what time they’ll be home is one of the most effective ways to head off future problems. Showing that you care and setting the right example might even save your teenager’s life.

Once parents relinquish their role as a positive—but not controlling—force in their children’s lives, bad things can happen.

Most of all, lead by example, and take the time to talk to your children about the dangers of substance abuse. Openly share your hopes for them.

Don’t pull any punches when you talk about your own past mistakes. Most of us have many.

Honesty, love and even a sense of humor will go a long way toward getting through to those we treasure the most.