By Brent E. McCoy

When I was asked to write these weekly columns, I was determined to keep the articles light with a little humor thrown in. Well, those days are over, brother. I’ve just become aware of a matter that just makes my blood boil.

Like most of us, I waited day after day and month after month for the completion of the new connector road between Tierra Rejada and Santa Rosa. Then, one grand and glorious day, it was finally finished. A beautiful clean black stripe stretching across the plain where before there were only dirty flowers and brown grass. It was beautiful.

Now, I find out that you people are driving on it! Cars are dripping oil and water. The road is getting worn. I’m afraid that this sculpture in asphalt is just not going to last very long if this keeps up.

The people living along Santa Rosa Road are always complaining that there is way too much traffic now. They complain of a steady stream of cars all day long. Some complain that they cannot turn on to Santa Rosa Road from their private roads and driveways. I was glad to let my hard earned tax dollars go toward building this beautiful black ribbon. But I (and apparently a good many others) never thought that you people would actually go out and drive on it. My God, what are you people thinking! But, it’s true of a road (much like a baseball field in the middle of Iowa) if you build it they will come.

There are plenty of other good roads out here. You can take Highway 118 toward Ventura and as you approach Lewis, you can have breakfast in your car as you creep up to the light. Once at the light, refreshed and ready for a long day’s work, you can cut over to Camarillo or continue on to Oxnard and Ventura. Another choice is to take the 23 Freeway out to Thousand Oaks and then take the 101 Freeway north. It doesn’t take too long unless you get stuck behind one of the cement truck races going up the grade.

Now, about this "No Right Turn On Red" sign at Santa Rosa Road. I say tear down this sign.

Some claim the "No Right Turn On Red" decision was made for safety concerns. I repeat, tear down this sign. If safety is what you’re after, put up a bigger sign, with bigger letters, that reads:

1. Wait

2. Put down the cell phone

3. Put down the coffee

4. Grab the wheel with both hands

5. Look right

6. Look left

7. Turn only when it is safe

8. Don’t do anything stupid for the next 5 miles.

If I’m wrong about this, and the "No Right Turn On Red" policy needs to continue, so be it. After all, it’s not as if you need to be somewhere at 8 or 9 every morning. If the sign has to stay, there is still a bright side. As you sit there every morning waiting for your turn at the light, you can take a minute (or 30) to stop and smell the flowers.

You will have to bring your own flowers, though. They built a road where the flowers used to grow.