Nobody asked me but, (with apologies to Red Smith)

Nobody asked me but, (with apologies to Red Smith):

Does anyone else think it’s funny that gas prices went down right after Labor Day, like they do every year, like they say it will every year, yet the gas companies deny there’s any price fixing.

If the Cubs win the World Series, they will go from being lovable losers to just another inept, poorly run franchise that wins once every 85 years.

Even the Anaheim Angels win more often than the Cubs and you know how inept they are.

Weren’t the St. Louis Rams supposed to be the next big dynasty in pro football?

Are the Raiders still in Oakland? Have they won any games lately?

Is the Woman’s World Cup still going on? If not, does anybody know who won?

Is there anyone out there who is still puzzled by the lack of success of professional soccer is spite of the popularity of the kid’s soccer leagues? The answer is people may like to play it, but nobody wants to watch it.

Soccer is even more boring than watching the Pittsburgh Pirates play the Tampa Bay Devil Rays in September.

Pedro Martinez of the Red Sox is a great pitcher and a coward who throws at hitters and then hides behind his teammates, who are left to get beaned in retaliation for his actions.

The Kansas City Chiefs look like the best team in pro football this season. If that’s the case than coach Dick Vermeil has to be considered one of the best of all times if they win the Super Bowl.

The Derek Jeter and George Steinbrenner commercials are pretty funny.

How come every commercial on Fox TV has rain in it? Or at least soaking wet women?

Why is it that Fox TV can never seem to come back on time from a commercial during it’s baseball telecasts?

I like Tim McCarver on the Fox broadcast, but Joe Buck is way overrated as a play-by-play man.

If you get the chance, watch a movie called "Fear of a Black Hat." It is hilarious.

Does anyone out there really believe Tiger Woods is in a slump? He won 5 tournaments and will be the Player of the Year again.

Has anyone out there tried tossing up a golf ball and hitting it in the air with their iron? Has anyone actually done it successfully?

I think Titleist golf balls are the best. Nike golf balls are overrated.

Doesn’t Kobe Bryant look a lot older this year?

Has anyone out there actually watched NASCAR In CAR on Adelphia Cable? Wouldn’t going to a go-cart place be much better?

Does anyone out there still play miniature golf other than middle-aged divorced people on a third date?

Does anyone out there still bowl?

I can’t believe how much it costs to bowl these days. It’s almost cheaper to ski, and you know how expensive that is.

A guy goes to the doctor for a check up. The doctor tells him "Gee, I’m sorry but you only have 5 minutes to live." The guy is upset and says, "Can’t you do anything for me?" The doctor says, "I could boil you an egg."

I like the driving range near the Tierra Rejada golf course, but the astro turf is really strange. Especially since the ball doesn’t bounce at all.

Wasn’t this summer the hottest one we’ve had for several years?

Does anyone else thing the weather has been screwed up for the past 2 decades.

Does anyone else think they’re being an old fogy when they say that?

Does anyone else get annoyed at Microsoft Word when the letter writing wizard appears on the screen? I don’t need or want any help writing anything from a machine. Besides, I can never figure out how it works.

I think USC will go to the Rose Bowl this year, but they won’t win the National Championship. They will beat UCLA and Notre Dame.

Notre Dame is overrated in the best of years, this year they will be lucky to play .500 ball.

The high school football in the Conejo Valley and Moorpark/Simi Valley area is among the best in all of Southern California on a year-in, year-out basis.

Expect for The Simpsons, everything else on Fox is for blockheads. Of course this is a free country, so you have the right to be a blockhead. It’s what makes America great.

Best of luck to the Terminator in trying to fix the budget crises. I predict he’ll be back in the movies in 2 years. It will seem like a vacation.